So we went out to dinner the other night. A cousin of mine had tied the knot and family members and friends had gotten together for a post marriage dinner party. So my husband and I went. We had a great time, it was nice to see people we haven't seen for a while. One of the people I saw there was a woman whose kids I used to babysit for, Sylvia. Sylvia has ten kids and the first six I would watch many times over the years. She recently had her tenth child, a cute as a button little boy. While at the dinner, we got to talking about life and how funny it is that we have kids the same age. Just then her little boy proceeded to spit up all over his mother and her beautiful, but dry clean only, suit. So I offered to hold him while she went to clean up a little in the ladies room. Holding him, I got to feeling like maybe I want another one of these kiddos. They are so little and yummy, but could I handle a fourth? Especially with Peanut and all her needs not to mention my middle one, James and his speech needs (which he will and is outgrowing).
But I think I may be getting to that point that maybe one more kiddo would make me feel like we are a completed family. After all my kids are roughly two years apart and that is great spacing, yet I am a little unsure. What if I can't handle four kids, and working, and house? So I put the thought to the back burner, then today, I was in the office seeing a patient and I got to thinking, I would like to have another one! But again I wonder about Peanut. Truth be told, when we were thinking about having our third, we also were a little unsure if we could handle it. It being so many, not knowing how much things would really change. But we also were a little uncertain, only to turn around and embrace and love Peanut. So I know we'll be ok, but I'm just a little nervous because Amanda is more high needs then typical kids. Needs that hopefully as the years unfold will spread out, and we'll learn to let go. I guess what I am trying to put into words is that I am afraid of pushing Peanut to the back burner by having another baby...as most kids are, but I don't want her to feel left out or set aside.
So I have a question for you...Have you thought about having more kids after having your special kiddo? If you have what kind of timing did you find was good? Does the hesitancy ever go away?